Letters from the Empire
by gman391
Summary: In death, we say the things we never did in life. For a land where emotion is held behind iron will, these words are all the more potent.
1. A Letter From the Crab

An anonymous letter from the Kaiu Wall

 _I am dying my son.  
For twenty years now, I have served on this great wall of ours. For twenty years now I have taken up my dai-tsuchi and swung it at all comers. For twenty years I have spent day in and day out watching the south. For twenty years I have done my duty to the Crab, to the Hida and to all the Empire._

 _Yet as I feel my joints begin to seize and this disease of mine slowly sap me of my strength. I find myself thinking of you my son, thinking of what I wish I had done of what I missed._

 _I missed your birth, the Wall needed me. Your mother gave me an earful, but when I saw you, I couldn't help but agree, there was you, this tiny little thing, so soft, so precious and for a moment I wondered if this was what the Crane felt when they looked at their 'beauty'._

 _Then you bit my finger and the moment was gone. I always did take that to mean you were my son, a fighter, just like me._

 _I missed your first steps, the Wall needed me. Your mother again gave me an earful, of how you were so determined, so ready to stand and walk, so that you could walk to see me. You never did see me very much ,but I could never understand the look of wonder on your face when I did return home._

 _I missed your entrance into the dojo, the Wall needed me. Your mother though a strong woman of that Unicorn, had to be the one to take you to the dojo of our ancestors. It was she who had to tell you the story of our family. How your great grand father slew one of the great demons in single combat, how my great grandmother defended our family in a duel against the greatest duelist of the Crane. Yet, you took to your training with all the fierce strength and will that made you walk._

 _I missed your gempukku, the Wall needed me. Your mother never did forgive me for that, and I suspect that is when the fire of our marriage ended. I do not blame her, it was the proudest moment for either of us, for you to stand as a full blooded Hida warrior. I remember hearing word and how my heart felt like it would burst from the sheer joy and pride I felt in my boy. My boy who for his gempukku defeated an ogre rather than a mere goblin._

 _I missed your wedding, the Wall needed me. Your mother stood with you as our family joined with the Kuni again. My daughter in law is a good woman, strong, willful, and proud, everything a good Hida should be. I always wondered if I could have arranged as fine a match for you as your mother did. There were more than a few young samurai-ko of good breeding and character that I mused upon asking for permission to wed you too. Yet, you married and began your own family._

 _I missed your ascension from a Hohei to Guso, the Wall needed me. Those who had raised you, taught you, loved you, stood with you in triumph as you proved to not only have your old man's will but your mother's mind. To take a small platoon and drive off a full troop of Goblins? You were destined to go far, I knew then, and I prayed for your success._

 _I missed so many things in your life my son. Do not think it was because I did not love you. They teach that love is a dangerous thing in this land of ours and so it is. The danger comes from the power and depth of that feeling, that makes a man's heart grow too large for him, and his mind leave him._

 _So as I feel my strength leave me and my arms grow weary, I write you my son, to tell you this.  
You are my son.  
And I could never ask for any better._

 _Farewell._

They say that Hida Kozomi spent a day outside his home, looking at the field where he and his father used to play. Some say that he was furious at his father, others that he was paying his respects as he best knew. Yet, a few say quietly, when the sake is all drunk and the people's lips are loose, that Kozomi spent that day weeping as a child would for his father.

For myself? I do not know, but let it be said that the Crab are not heartless savages. They feel just as deeply as any of us and they sacrifice more than we can ever know for that Wall that needs them.


	2. A Letter from the Crane

Anonymous letter from Toshi Ranbo

 _My dearest daughter as you read this I have died._

 _Do not despair of this, for I went to my death willingly as all Samurai should.  
For we are the scions of Lady Doji the Fair, the kami of courtesy and soul of our Empire. We can do no less than live up to her. Yet, as it was when my own mother went out on to the field to die, I know how little these words will comfort you. _

_So indulge your mother one last time, and listen to these words of mine. For they are true, and they are pure._

 _I remember when I first laid eyes on you in truth. As you found yourself in a new world different from the one inside me that had carried you for nine months. You gave a loud wail, and then composed yourself, looking and searching for me. My heart searched for you and in that moment, I loved you as deep as the ocean._

 _I remember on your fifth birthday when we brought you to the small room where we had placed all the gifts that our friends and family had given you for your birth. Oh how your face lit up like the sun in joy even as you struggled to be proper and composed just like your mother and father taught you. It was, in a word, adorable._

 _I remember when we sent you to the academy. You looked up at me with those bright eyes of yours and promised you would make me proud. I wanted to tell you that you already had made me the proudest mother in Rokugan, for how could I ask for another daughter as gifted as you? I like to think you already knew, and that is why I didn't tell you, but in truth I let my fear of giving you too much arrogance hold me back._

 _I remember how you returned to our home during the winter break of your ninth year. You had met the man that would be your husband you declared. I was surprised even then. Such boldness from my Little Wind, where had she got that from. Your father gently recalled me saying the same thing about him when I was your age. Yet, it was not to be, that boy took you for granted, and you did what I would have done, and educated him on courtesy._

 _I remember your gempukku, of how you competed with the rest of your classmates for the right to be samurai. The pride I felt when you overcame your old beau to be the winner of the Iaijutsu competition, was only matched by the joy I felt at your dance in the gardens._

 _I remember you becoming a magistrate and purifying entire cities just by yourself, and of how you were appointed to the Emerald Magistrates, and how proud I was of you my daughter. To rise higher than I ever had, ever could. I'm still proud of that._

 _I remember how we began to fight, you had no need of the mother who had been like ice to you for your childhood, you had found in your yoriki a man that you could accept marriage to, and a woman you could love. I was unhappy that you denied my choice, and we both said words that even now still sting, like tiny needles in my skin._

 _I remember the long years where we did as courtesy and tradition demanded of us, but there was no warmth, no joy there. We were Crane and we would not break our careful masks of perfected face for each other. No matter our blood. I remember in the silent night under the moon, letting that mask slip and crying at what I lost in my arrogance. And wondering if you felt the same._

 _I remember much my daughter, and although we fought and we let our pride come between us. I love you, I always have, but we of the Crane know that love is a blessing and a curse, for it is not the way of the Samurai to show love as the bonge, with open smiles and hugs. For us it was always meant to be a subtle thing, a look there, a gift, a poem, just the gentle wind of truth between us. Yet, my looks were too guarded for you to read, my gifts too poor, and my poetry to foul for you to understand that. I do not blame you, and I do not regret trying to show it, do I wish I had done better? Yes, but that is not our kharma it seems._

 _We are Crane, we accept nothing less than perfection in ourselves and in our lives. Yet I find that I must share Lady Doji's final admonition to us, do not concern yourself with doing great things, but with right things._

 _So when your lover stands accused of betrayal and dishonour, as a means to attack you while you serve in the lands of the Isawa. I knew the right thing to do. I cannot, do not approve of you taking a lover besides your husband._

 _However, she is innocent, for I know that you would not love anyone who did not love Bushido as much as you did. So although I am old, and my skills not as sharp as they once were, I take up the blade for the woman. For I trust you and the tenets of our clan and ourselves hold to kill an innocent is to violate everything we have worked for._

 _Do not blame yourself my daughter for my death, yes I love you, and for once in my life, I will show it with my actions._

 _Farewell my Little Wind._

In the frozen woods of Isawa Mori, Kakita Kazeko looked down at the letter again. The last missive of her mother. The rain must be coming down, that was why there were wet spots on the paper. After all, like her mother said, the Crane would never allow their on to slip so deeply as to cry openly.

Folding the paper away, Kakita Yoriko draws her sword in the same stance she practiced in secret after seeing her mother do it when she was a child.

"Watch me mother, I'll make you proud" she says in silent prayer as the wind blows and she moves.


	3. A Letter From the Dragon

Anonymous Letter from the Great Northern Wall Mountains.

 _My beloved._

 _I write this to you as my testament and to fulfill that promise of mine. To speak to you again, although these letters are not the same as my voice, let me assure you that I stand by them as strongly as I stand behind you and my blades._

 _As I prepare myself to stride fourth and die in combat I find myself thinking of you, the Dragon and my Kharma._

 _Ours was a strange marriage for my clan, not one of love, but of political machinations. It was one I was not prepared for, although I thank Benten-no-kami that it was done._

 _My clan found itself on a new path after a thousand years of preparation and watching. A thousand years for one single moment, now we struggle to find our new path. Yet that is what we have always done hasn't it my beloved? To be iconoclasts and follow the words of the Little Teacher who taught ten thousand ways to Enlightenment. Still, we found ourselves outmaneuvered and I wed to a woman who others considered cursed. As I write this I remember those precious days where I found us and my clan._

 _The day we met, I was so nervous, so scared, the stories of what a Scorpion woman could do to a man were many, and I had never left the mountains that were my home. You were introduced and the tales...were wrong. You were no seductive woman sent to ensnare my soul in desire and lust. You were...a woman, who was just as scared as I was. A beautiful one yes, but a woman a Samurai. The lesson I learned that day was to keep my eyes open, to seek truth even when afraid._

 _Also never to imply that your tea was sub-par, but I deserved that._

 _The day we married, I was so nervous, so scared, I was...a neophyte to the flesh. The higher things in life, the sword those had occupied my attention. Yet now, I was expected to be your husband, to have children with you. Could I really compare to you? Live up to your expectations? Then you came to me and I found the truth, that you wondered if you could reach me. The lesson I learned that day was that Heaven and Earth in accord are greater than either alone._

 _The day we confronted each other, I was in such despair and pain. You had betrayed me, lain with someone else, you could claim you did not mean to, but he did not force you. I had learned that much from my Kitsuki kinsmen. You had lied, like Scorpion do, and that had hurt me deeper than I could have imagined. Still, in my heart, in spite of the pain, I still loved you, and I did not know why. Then you came to me, in peasant clothing, preparing yourself to be cast out. You sought not forgiveness, you did not deserve it, you made no excuses, but only wished to look on me one last time. It could have been a lie, most would think it was, but you took off your mask and I looked into your eyes. The lesson I learned that day is that Loyalty can redeem as well as condemn._

 _The day we learned that we could not have children, I was in such despair and pain. The priests say it was punishment on you for betraying me, and urged me to abandon you. The duty of a Samurai was to have children afterall, and the Dragon are not so many as we could afford not to have any. You looked at me with those soft eyes again, and whispered that it was okay, that I should do what I needed to. The lesson I learned that day is that a mountain does not stop being a mountain and neither would I stop being your husband, trying to make yourself something you are not is foolish._

 _The day we took in your nephew as our own, I was in such a state of joy and confusion. In truth that your brother had sired a bastard did not worry me as much as it did some. Nor did it seem strange to me to call this child of the Scorpion my own. For I had a son, a son chosen by me, if not by blood, and that was more important. The lesson I learned that day is that fate holds what it holds but it is our choice to make it matter._

 _You've often asked me beloved, how I came to forgive and accept you, or even love you in the first place. I tell you this, that it is the nature of the Dragon to see the truth. The truth of your despair and pain upon meeting me, you believed your family had given up on you. It is the nature of the Dragon to balance the fearful caution and reckless courage into a seamless whole. It is the nature of the Dragon to have faith in the Truth no matter how our emotions colour it. Finally it is in the nature of the Dragon to see what could be not what is._

 _So I tell you this my beloved, I'm glad that you were chosen to be my wife. And though I go now to the next life whatever it maybe, I will search for you in it, that is the promise of this Dragon._

 _Live well Beloved_

Mirumoto no Yogo Ayoko looks down at the letter for several moments. He was a fool, a damned fool who trusted a Scorpion, yet...that was why she loved him, wasn't it? The Dragon's nature was to see what could be and he saw her as something of worth to be cherished. Something that no one else had seen.

Tears try to form in her eyes and she forces them back. He never could stand to see her cry, and wouldn't be happy to have her cry now. Putting the letter away, Ayako leaves her room and climbs up the mountain that he so loved. As she reaches the tree that they first met under, and later married under. She sits down, and looks out at the unforgiving beauty of the Northern Wall.

"Good bye...beloved husband" she says simply.


	4. A Letter from the Lion

From the hand of Matsu Keiko

 _My husband I greet you every day as if it were my last. Yet this letter likely means that indeed it has been my last.  
Lion do not die old, and bushi such as I less so. I admit that I am...glad to be dead, to have died in glorious combat was all I wanted. _

_I pray that this is what happened, so I may go to my ancestors with honour, yet I know that may not be. The Lion fight everywhere and not all are so eager to face us on the field of battle. And I...I cannot do it anymore._

 _I began this letter intent on making it correctly and properly with not even a hint of transgression against the Bushido. Yet as I write this in between skirmishes where death walks beside me like an old friend, I find that hiding my self does no favours. I am Lion and I live Bushido, but I am human, no matter how much that irks me. They say the Akodo search for endless perfection in Bushido and war, but the Matsu do as well, we are a proud family honoured by battle and our matchless soldiers._

 _I began this letter to let you know that there was no need to mourn me. Now I find myself wishing to, damn you, apologize.  
The truth is that ours was never meant to be a marriage of love. That is not our way, love is for the Crane, or the Unicorn or those other lesser clans. Not for the Lion, for us the path of honour, the path of battle. Yet, you never questioned me and indeed never tried to force me to be a woman...in spite of you being from outside the Matsu and thus unused to our ways. But, I didn't love you. _

_I began this letter to ask you to take care of our children, they are strong fierce and wonderful, for myself, I am not displeased to have borne them. That is still true, but I, but I, also find that I am not displeased to have borne them for you. You never understood me, not really, you never understood the Lion. The fierce battle joy that overwhelms us, letting us scream with euphoria as we crash into our foes. To you it was, barbaric I'm sure._

 _I began this letter to say many things, and now I'm shaming myself, by just letting my emotions my heart out like some, some, peasant. This is not the Lion way, this is not the Matsu way. All for Bushido all for Battle that is us. Yet I, damn you. I think of your soft touch and my heart races. I think of your gentle voice singing to the children and my mind is soothed. I think of your damned pretty face and my own turns pink before I fight it down, damn you!_

 _I...began this letter with many intentions, many promises to myself, but I am Matsu, and I will hold to honesty now. I don't know how or why I loved you, but I did, and although my love for you is not enough to make me forsake my duty, it never could be. But know this my husband. I do have a wish, that I could tell you this in person, that I could make my feelings known to you without our duties our lives getting in the way. But, regret is a sin, and wishes are as useful as an Asahina in a bar fight. So I can't change that._

 _There are many things I can't change, and it is useless to try. So I will live as the Lion do, throwing my all into battle and moving ever forward._

 _So I end this letter with a command o Husband mine. Live like a Lion and when we meet in the next life, you had better be able to give me a fight you've got that?_

 _-Your wife_

Matsu no Shiba Okita looks down at the letter and shakes his head, even in death, she challenged him. In truth, that is why he loved her as he did. Stubborn, prideful and uncompromising, these were the things the Lion were known for, but underneath the armor of their heart that was Bushido, they were still human, this much Okita knew. Placing the letter away, Okita picked up his naginata.

He had an order to fulfill after-all.


	5. A Letter From the Mantis

Anonymous letter, from the Eastern Isles

 _Hey little brother!_

 _Sorry I couldn't resist doing that to you one last time. Even if it's only pretend and it's going to have to be that from now on. 'Cause the only way you're reading this is if I'm dead, or they think I am. Which they damn well better be sure about to give you this letter. If not, kick their asses for me will ya? I'd do it my self but I'm probably sleeping off whatever it is they thought killed me this time._

 _Anyways, I've been kind of working on this off and on for the last few years you know, ever since I went out to the Fleet and you to the Court. Usually we fight and make up over sake and pretty women but we didn't have a chance this time. I shipped out and we both forgot the lesson Dad used to teach us, to never let the sun set on our anger. Life's too short for that bull crap._

 _Life's too short to hold you calling me a muscle-headed idiot who only cares about sailing ships against you. I shouldn't have called you a mincing little flower of an Isawa. I mean really who does that?_

 _I ain't going to ask you forgiveness, because I wasn't wrong, the Mantis are born to sail, we are, and that's why we do it. There's ah look, you know why we fight so hard to be recognized, to be acknowledged? To show all those stuck up bastards that we are just as much Samurai as they are?_

 _Look to the Ocean, the ocean is huge, terrifying and will kill you if you back down even an instant, you know that. The ocean always pushes always smashes, always forces you to scream defiance at it. The minute you stop doing that? That's the minute the waves drag you off to Emma-O-no-kami. We've been fighting the Ocean our entire life, sometimes it's just a play fight, and other times its for all the tea in Rokugan. But, giving it anything less than your best is going to see you drown._

 _That's what I was trying to get across to you little brother, that the Sailor isn't any different from you, we both fight against something bigger than ourselves, we might use different things but we still fight._

 _Okay now that I've done my 'duty' as your elder to give you some half assed bullshit about wisdom of the Mantis, let me talk to you for real._

 _You're my little brother, that will never change, not now, not in the next life, not ever._  
 _You'll always be the shy little kid that I had to teach how to swim._  
 _You'll always be the freshly gempukkued twerp I had to teach how to lighten up._  
 _You'll always be the young idiot I had to bail out of more bar fights than I care to remember._  
 _You'll always be the nervous guy who needed a muscle head like me to tell him to seize the day._  
 _You'll always be the guy who made it in our family, the one whose more than just a sailor._  
 _You'll always be the one the Father wishes was born first. I don't mind that, I don't. I know what I am, and I'm happy with it._  
 _You'll always be the one that Mother loved more. After all you stay on land and won't break her heart like me and Father will._  
 _You'll always be the one that I am proud of, for everything._

 _I know I gave you a lot of grief of not being a bushi like me, of always having to measure up to me and others. Yet you made your own path, like a Mantis should. You seized the chance to go to the Imperial Winter Court, you seized a marriage to the youngest daughter of the Emerald Champion, you seized a life for yourself._

 _Just like a Mantis should._

 _I might be dead, but don't let that stop you little brother, you? You go as high as you can and don't let anyone hold you back. I never told you this in life, but I think...no I know you can change the course of history. So don't let your big bro dying slow you down, I'm dead and probably feeding the fishes. What's important is to live._

 _...Fortunes did I just write all that stuff? Man that sake hits hard you know? None of it's a lie but come on, baring my soul like that? What am I? Some weak ass Asahina with 'feelings?'_

 _Live fast, die hard, and never stop riding the waves Little Bro._

 _P.S._  
 _You probably should know that I have a kid floating around somewhere look after him for me will you? His name is Tsukune ._

For the tenth time Yoritomo Sora folded the letter and set it against his chest.  
Stupid big brother. Like he needed to be told any of that.

A soft smile forms on Sora's face, "Still...it was nice to know you still thought of me Big Bro. I won't let you down."

"Yoritomo-sama?" a soft voice calls.

Sora turns to the servant.  
"Yes Kaede?"

"A Tsukune-san is here to see you" She says.

A slight twitch of the eyebrow.  
"...Dammit Big Brother." Sora mutters to himself before going off to meet his...nephew.

In spite of that the smile at the memories of his big brother stay, and Sora can't help but admit,  
he was proud of his brother too.


	6. A Letter From the Scorpion

Anonymous letter from Nezuban Province

 _Hello Father_

 _This letter if it reaches you by the hidden paths of our clan, it reaches you from beyond the grave. I admit to being curious as to what you would say about this were I still living, but that is not to important in the grand scheme of things._

 _For a death letter this could say a lot or very little, we both know how much 'information' we've gleaned from reading other people's mail over the years. Yet at the same time, I know that this night will be my last, I know it my bones, and I go to it gladly._

 _The darkness was my home, and to die in your home is good no?_

 _You must have known that I hated you. How could you not? I hated you for choosing the Clan over me, over my mother, over us. Sacrifice is the watch word of the Scorpion but I hated you for it. I despised that you could look at me with those cold dark eyes and simply say 'acceptable'._

 _Acceptable when I became Samurai, acceptable when against all odds I managed to not only survive the assassin's of our old foe but strike back at their source, acceptable when I, and I alone rode three days and nights to warn you of the Unicorn's march._

 _Acceptable._

 _I loathed that word from you, and you for uttering it. No matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did, I would never be anything but acceptable. Not good, not bad, just alright. It didn't seem to matter to you what I did, only that it was done._

 _Acceptable was the word you used when I told you that in revenge for my mothers murder I had slain an Otomo bastard who had arranged her death._

 _I wonder now that if that was the only way you knew to tell me that you were okay with me. That you thought I was doing the right thing. The Scorpion lie, that is our nature, but the lies we tell ourselves might be the most potent of all._

 _Did you believe father that I would stop striving to my utmost if you praised me even once? Did you think that I would not believe you because I have never seen your face? Did you want to tell me something but stopped yourself because that is not our way?_

 _Or were you just what you appeared to be? A man consumed by the one thing in his life that he could cling to without regret, duty. A man who ordered the deaths of hundreds to prevent a greater tragedy, a man who had broken more hearts across the Empire than most ever realized they could break._

 _I do not know, not really, it is easier to believe the latter because then I can feel justified in my hatred, for never being there for us, for never showing that we were your children, for not even mourning mother's death._

 _But, the truth is, I don't want to go to the next life whatever it may be, hating my father. So I choose father to believe that you did care, that you didn't know how to show it, but you did care. It might be a lie, it might be but we both know that a Lie can save just as much as truth can._

 _Farewell Father._

Bayushi Mokati reads the letter from his son again. The secret codes of the Bayushi mean nothing to the one who created them. Underneath his mask, his face twitches into a downward frown. In truth he had always thought the boy understood, that he was protecting him. To show favourtism to show compassion would be to invite the many enemies he had cultivated to strike at the boy, his most precious son. Mokati was willing to sacrifice himself, his honour and his soul for the clan, but he was not willing to sacrifice his son.

"Idiot, you should have returned home, this is not acceptable."

Some now say that the _Shion_ flowers that now grow in Mokati's garden are for those who died in the recent wars. But a few brave souls believe that the flowers are for his son.

*Shion flowers or Asters in English carry the meaning of 'I will not forget you' in hanakotoba


	7. A Letter From the Unicorn

Unsent Letter

 _Dear Mother_

 _Hello, again, its me your daughter. I wonder if you know me now at all? I admit its hard to tell, you're not around anymore. The priests say that your death was quick. It terrifies me really, I know that fear is a sin, but how can I not feel fear when I find out that you're just gone? No more soft smiles welcoming me home. No more gentle prodding to actually talk to my fiancee instead of tying him up and throwing him over my shoulder. Which for the record I still say worked. No more weird jokes, no more anything. You're just sort of gone._

 _I don't even know if you can see me anymore. I wish I had been there, been able to protect you, to do something. They say that parents protect their children so that their children can protect them when they're old. I didn't do that, I failed you, and I honestly don't know how to deal with that._

 _It used to be I'd send these letters and you'd respond with some deep wisdom from our ancestors "Grandmother used to say 'Never try to catch a Lion with a net, use milk instead' or something like that._

 _Now I have to do it on my own. I have to be the strong Battle Maiden, and live Bushido in the purest way I can, with my spear by my side and Metsuke underneath me._

 _Yet putting it like that, like I'm angry at you for being gone is well, selfish, childish really. You never asked for it, and trying to change the past does not work._

 _But I still miss you._

 _I think I will always miss you mother._

 _But, I will carry the lessons you taught me in my heart._

 _That Compassion is the core of who we are, and that is the strength of the Unicorn. We care and because we care, we can transcend any limits for those we care for._

 _That Honesty is the guiding hand of our actions. The lies we tell ourselves and others make us hesitate and shrink from our path._

 _That Courage is the Fire that does not go out no matter how much fear tries to smother it. So we stoke our courage to ride fearlessly into the next life._

 _That Loyalty is the solid Earth that anchors our compassion, honesty and courage into those who deserve it._

 _That Courtesy is the soft water that holds the fire back until such time as it is needed._

 _That Sincerity is the swift wind carrying our intentions openly so that no one may cry that we have deceived them._

 _That Honour is the endless void that we carry with in us defining us as we choose it._

 _I will carry these lessons in my heart as dearly as I carry you in my heart, mother._

 _So if you're up there watching me mother, I promise, I'll live and make you proud, because I never could ask for a better mother, and the only way to honour you properly, is to ride as the Utaku do for Honour, Purity and our Clan._

 _Farewell mother._

Utaku Lana reads the letter she wrote yet again, and shakes her head.

No it's pointless. Mother is dead, but still maybe, maybe she'll see it up there?  
Lana doesn't know really, she couldn't, but as she places the letter into the fire, she hopes it does reach her mother.

As the fire dies and Lana turns to sleep, she never notices the gentle soft wind that caresses her face, or the smiling woman behind it.

Those skilled in the arts of the spirits may have divined that the woman was giving her final farewell to Lana, but alas none were there, and slowly the smiling woman faded away.

For the first night in weeks, Lana slept quietly, her dreams filled with a mother accepting the love of her daughter.


	8. A Letter From the Phoenix

Anonymous letter from the Dragon Heart Plain

Hello little sister

Are you well? It has been some time since I've seen you last. Some time since we parted ways forever, me to the path of the Shiba and you to the path of the priests. As I march on to the Dragon Heart Plain to stop a great injustice, I feel that it is time to speak honestly with you. This last time before ere my spirit departs to judgement.

No don't worry, I'm not going to tell you anything you don't already know. Just things we're both too stubborn to admit. We who walk the path of peace and harmony, can fight so well on what that path is, can't we?

Peace is elusive as the void but that is why we pursue it as we do, and why I reach out now to you my dear sister. It...was not easy, seeing you leave us, leave the family, you were born with the gift, the ability to speak to the kami, and such things are common enough for our Clan. Yet, I never wanted you to go. I was young, I was selfish, I didn't want to lose my baby sister. Still there was never any choice, you had to learn to control your gift, and I...I had to walk the path of a warrior who hates war.

Do you know that I watched you? Always from afar, always doing what I could to just see my little sister grow up. I couldn't be there as much as I wanted, you were Isawa now and your sensei adopted you as his own. I was...just a Shiba.

I watched you as you left to a place I couldn't follow, I couldn't protect you from.

I watched you as you grew into your powers and talents, to someone I couldn't understand.

I watched you as you became samurai through your gempukku, praying and completing rituals I didn't even understand.

I watched you as you travelled our lands fulfilling the duties of an Ishiken and made our family proud.

I watched you as you fell in love with a charming young Kakita trying to find the Kenku.

I watched you as your heart broke when he admitted that he been engaged to another.

I watched you as you came to me in fury and grief upon finding that another was me.

I watched you as you married another Isawa, a man you hated but did your duty towards.

I watched you lose your passion, your fire for life becoming a priest of the kami and Ishiken alone, while your heart slept.

Now I realize, I shouldn't have just watched, that whatever our Clan decreed, you were still my little sister. That whatever sacrifices we made for harmony and peace, we are still family. That I should have been there to protect you, to heal your heart, and denied my husband for your sake even if it cost me my duty. Yet I did not, instead as I reeled from your hate, I grew cold myself, and refused to reach for you to help you.

All I can say is I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry I forgot Shiba's Promise, I'm sorry that I can't make things right.

Regret won't change things, and I can't change the past. I am as you so eloquently expressed, 'A simpleton wielding a pointy stick trying to convince herself that she has worth'

But, as I march with my legion to stop the deaths of others with my own. I know that whatever happens, you are still my little sister, and I still love you dearly, and were I to do it all again, you would have me there every step of the way. I can't ask for forgiveness, not really, but I do ask, that when the sun shines through the cherry blossoms just right, and the cool air reminds you of our childhood, that you think of me now and then.

Farewell little sister, may the Fortunes and Tao guide your way.

Isawa Keiko reads the letter again, something inside her feels, strange off. The heart that she had long since thought dead from a relentless pursuit of knowledge and ritual stirs. Softly at first, the beating of her heart reminds her of the past: Of the sound of them running together under the trees, of the little games that they played, of the soft smiles and gentle encouraging words whenever they met, of the painful silence when they parted for the last time.

Isawa Keiko is a proud woman, but as the fire of her grief burns, she finds herself sitting under the cherry blossom trees, looking up at the sun.

"I'll miss you my dearest Big Sister, I'm sorry too"


End file.
